Nashville, You're Bringing Me Down

A quick list, post-Kraftwerk

Nashville tried to kill me—more than once. But I survived. I spent a week there and came back with a debilitating virus that caused a loss of vision in my left eye. This is the first time I’ve felt well enough and able to see to write. (I’m fine now, really.) Here’s an abbreviated list of some things I saw:

• A man enthusiastically made reservations at Kid Rock’s Big Honky Tonky Steak House. While on the phone, he mentioned something about a donkey show.

• At least four dozen tanned girls in white boots, white hats, and white jeans. They were white, as well.

• A dead bird exploded under the weight of a pedestrian’s heel

• A drunken man loudly request “Hotel California” by Johnny Cash

• Four different musicians in four different locations playing to absolutely no one and (seemingly) not discouraged by it.

• The Middle Tennessee State Veterans Cemetery

• A lovely server from Detroit kindly explain to me what a “country ham breakfast” is. I didn’t have the heart to stop him. He was so excited.

• Kraftwerk: 3-D at the historic Ryman Auditorium

  • A 20-something dressed in a full Man-Machine outfit (e.g., black pants, red shirt, black skinny tie) losing his proverbial mind during the Kraftwerk encore, “We Are the Robots.” His joy and enthusiasm were palpable. I love you, kid. Never change.

    

    WE

    

    ARE

    

    (the) ROBOTS

• An overpriced used copy of Neil Young’s Harvest Moon at McKay’s

• An underpriced copy of the Battletoads cartridge for the original Nintendo (NES)

• A random poem in one of the fountains at the Gaylord:

  

  An early edition of Bob Dylan’s “Girl From the North Country,” seen here used as a bookmark for Bret Easton Ellis’s “Less Than Zero.” Dylan reportedly was so pleased with this song that he fell asleep after penning the last line. That may account for the lack of clarity. “I deadass see costner girls”?—what’s going on here, Bobby? Are you high again?

  I really can’t make out the last line and none of my friends can either. Have a go if you think you got it. More substance later; I’m slowly getting back on that horse.

  Thanks for reading.